COMPLICATIONS

SCENE II – Flirtations

(ISABELLA walks up, passes the ground where ABIGAIL is laying. ETHAN rises from the bench where he is sitting to shake ISABELLA’s hand. The handshake lasts a touch longer than it should.)

ETHAN

Nice to see you again Isabella.

ISABELLA

It’s always nice to see you Ethan.

ETHAN

So, how are things with Ed?

ISABELLA

The divorce finally went through.

ETHAN

That’s great. You deserve somebody better than him.

ISABELLA

Thank you. Plus, if I’d heard one more Twilight joke I was going to scream. Some Arizona housewife writes a book and next thing you know my husband and I have no chance at staying together.

ETHAN

At least not mortal.

ISABELLA

Ethan…!

ETHAN

I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. Maybe that will be the last one for you though. And, bright side is, you didn’t scream.

ISABELLA

(laughing)

Well, I’d forgive you almost anything.

ETHAN

Almost? What wouldn’t you forgive?

ISABELLA

I’m afraid you won’t find that one out. I only kiss and tell and I may be divorced, but you, on the other hand….

ETHAN

Will just have to remain in suspense.

ISABELLA

Seems so.

(They both look at each other, then begin walking around the park. Their hands stray towards each other but never touch. As they walk near ABIGAIL she meaningfully looks at them.)

ETHAN

Anyway. Down to business. How are things on the legal front for “Clean the Green?” Are we all good?

ISABELLA

Ethan, you know I think the world of you and I know how important this initiative is to you, but …

ETHAN

No buts.

ISABELLA

There is a pretty big but.

ETHAN

I’d say it’s gotten smaller since I started working out.

ISABELLA

Ethan! I’m serious. As it’s currently worded, the ordinance is pretty clearly targeting homeless people. I know you have the mayor and more than half the city council with you on this, but discrimination is discrimination.

ETHAN

Well, what else are we supposed to do? We are targeting the homeless. The homeless problem is getting out of hand. We get more and more complaints every day.

ISABELLA

Sure, but you can’t call it a homeless problem. I may be a lawyer, but I know a little something about P.R.

ETHAN

So do I. I’m in Parks and Recreation after all.

(ISABELLA laughs).

And anyway, that’s why we called it “Clean the Green.” To help people see how getting the homeless out of our parks will really improve the quality of living here.

ISABELLA

Yeah, but when you imply that people, even homeless ones, are as bad as trash that needs to be cleaned up, you’ve got a P.R. problem.

ETHAN

I thought it was clever.

ISABELLA

Beyond the P.R. problem, Clean the Green, seriously. Isn’t green good? Why do we want to clean it?

ETHAN

If I hear that one more time…

ISABELLA

Maybe I’d like to hear you scream.

ETHAN

No such luck. I’ve got to go to dinner with my wife.

ISABELLA

By all means.

ETHAN

See you on Monday at the City Council meeting?

ISABELLA

Sure. Just consider making these changes to the wording.

(ISABELLA hands him a folder with papers)

It will save us a lot of legal problems down the road, and I’d rather not represent the city in that case.

(They both walk out of the park)